Okay, this story isn't true but the story is very funny. Most of you know I'm not a big supporter of the whole rapture theory so that makes it even funnier to me. No offense to all the rapturites:)
" A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a 'mistaken rapture' by dozens of eye-witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced the rapture was occuring when she thought she saw twelve people floating into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus. "She started screaming 'He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sun roof and jumped off the roof of the car." said Everet Williams, husband of 28 year-old Georgeann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait until I stopped," Williams said. "She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I have been on the force," said Paul Mason, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on the way to a costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated into the sky. Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who has been told several times by his friends he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration saying 'Come back, come back,' just as the Williams car passed him. Mrs. Williams was sure it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by Jenkins. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied 'This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen.'"
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13 comments:
That is so strange and sad. I want to laugh, but I really want to cry.
wow, that's weird. I don't even know what those dolls are, but that sounds sick.
NOw that you have that on your blog page, I bet my home computer will block your page!!!
Are Baptists typically rapturites? :-) And the people that believe in it, do they think it will happen, and then there's a thousand years of something or other? I can't keep that all straight. I'm just waiting for Jesus.
A rapture distinct from the 2nd Coming is part of the system of eschatology known as dispensationalism which was invented around 1830.
Dispensationalism is distinguished by a rapture followed by God working with Israelites during a 7 year tribulation followed by the 2nd Coming followed by a 1000 year reign followed by Judgment Day.
Many early Christian were premillennial (believed that 2nd Coming will come BEFORE the 1000 years), but I am unaware of any (with 1 'possible' exception) early Christians who believed the rapture was a different event than the 2nd Coming.
Personally, I am amillennial...like the majority of Christians have been throughout church history. This simply mean I believe the 1000 years of Revelation 20 represents the church age in which we are currently living. Jesus is on the throne now.
Yeah, I consider myself misc., as in I don't really are about the details as long as He takes me with Him;-)
Thanks for the info Matt.
Actually, Matthew's only describing only Rapture doctrine, the pre-Tribulation view popularized by best-forgotten books like "The Late Great Planet Earth" and the 32-volume "Left Behind" series. (I understand LaHaye and Jenkins plan another series, with one volume for each year of the millennial reign of Christ.)
The other two Rapture doctrines include the mid-Tribulation, in which JEsus removes the church at the 3½ year mark, and post-Tribulation, where the church disappears just before Judgment Day. Pre-tribbers hold that the elect are spared God's wrath on a sinful world, post-tribbers believe that they have something to prove to the lost by their faith, and mid-tribbers believe they can only be expected to take so much.
Me, I'm an ex-Rapturite. The Rapture is one of many beliefs and side doctrines I've discarded over the years I've spent as a Christian.
ha, an ex-rapturite:-)
And speaking of the Rapture, here's this little gem I remember from back in college:
As the recent sightings of bumper stickers reading "IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THIS VEHICLE WILL BE UNMANNED" have created a great deal of confusion, we offer the following excerpts from the 1989 printing of the State of Maryland Driver's Handbook:
If you notice a glorious light in the sky, a sound as of an infinite choir of unearthly voices, and a host of winged beings descending from the heavens, do not panic.
If you are on the freeway, move to the shoulder as soon as it is safe to do so, activate your hazard blinkers, and wait for the end of the world. If you are Saved, it is especially important that you do this BEFORE you are carried to your eternal reward, in order that your vehicle not become a hazard to others. Remember, Rapture is the number one cause of automobile accidents during major spiritual upheavals.
You may experience a feeling of discorporation ("being pulled from one's body") while driving. To ensure the safety of your passengers and other drivers, move to the shoulder as soon as you notice any of the following symptoms:
-- An overwhelming sense of peace and happiness.
-- Visions of the faces of deceased family members.
-- A glorious figure in white, beckoning from the end of a tunnel of white mist (do not confuse this with traffic control or maintainance officers, who wear dark blue and safety orange.)
Once the feeling has passed, inspect your surroundings. If still in your car, you have probably suffered a stroke and should have someone drive you to a hospital at once.
If you find yourself in the Kingdom of God, consult the local officials for information on local traffic rules and regulations.
I think the Anti-Christ will come from within the church, if that helps to stir up any debate :P Actually, I bounce back and forth on whether there will be one "capital 'A' Anti-Christ," but my strongest view is that he/she will fool most of the so-called "Christians" by playing to their self-proclaimed religiosity that basically reduces to Modern Protestant morality, instead of a ture Christ-driven life. As far as the rapture, I guess I believe that everyone will have to suffer through "the end-times," though I always feel that if I am living as I should, proclaiming Christ, I will most likely be martyred before the 2nd Coming.
I meant "true" instead of "ture"...
Why can't you edit these comments - stupid site :)
There's actually a way to edit comments, but Tim disconnected it because he's so mean.
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